So Henry got arrested. Again. Police said he was attempting to knock over a bank using his new 'freeze ray'. Apparently the only thing it froze was his feet to the floor. Idiot.
I swear I don't know why I stick around, and especially why I keep bailing his sorry butt out of jail. Not that I can this time, being his third offence this month and all. I mean yea he does bring in a good chunk of money, but it's not consistent. I love him, don't get me wrong. He's a great husband, always bringing me jewelry, furs, and gold. Be he's not always around. Just last month he was off in the Bahamas trying to trigger some kind of volcano or earthquake… I don't know. Point was he wasn't here when I twisted my ankle on the ice. No, he was in the Bahamas, without me, trying to … who cares what!
At least this time he cleared out the bank account before rambling off to do another super-villain teamup
The month before that he was in Europe somewhere with the Evil Eight doing some kind of group thing, he wouldn't tell me what, said it was for 'my protection' Asshole.
I'm just about convinced they don't really do anything at these gatherings other than play poker and drink. He did bring home a nice painting, trying to butter me up. A Picasso or something. I just put it in the closet along with the others.
Before that he ran off to Australia or something with the highly inappropriately named Doctor Fright (who is neither a doctor nor is frightful. Though he does have a terrifyingly bad signing voice that he insists on showcasing every year at the Evil League of Villains Christmas Spectacular. Every. Damn. Year.
Trinkets and baubles can only go so far. And what am I gong to tell Henry Jr.? If I tell him his father was arrested he will ask a ton of questions that I can answer and then run off to plot a jailbreak or some other nonsense with his little friends. They have already started showing more common sense than their fathers and I'd hate for him to do something stupid and get himself arrested.
I swear, I don't know what I will do with that man.