During the ….um… 'events' of the last few months I've been hiding in the past. Watching and re-watching shows that I grew up with and loved. Buck Rogers, Transformers, Greatest American Hero, the Planet of the Apes movies, MacGyver… the list goes on.
I realized this morning that most, if not all, of these stories come from a time in my life before I withdrew into my shell.A time when I reveled in who I was and the things that made me different. I was far, far more creative, cared so much less what people thought, and did things I enjoyed because I enjoyed them, not because people said I should enjoy them.
A time before the darkness and the self-doubt and the insistence that I wasn't 'good enough'.
And I've become slightly obsessed. (Anyone that knows me won't be surprised by this :)
I also realized that in a way, I'm rebuilding myself. Reshaping it into something free of the things that kept me tied down (even if they were only in my head). I don't know where I will end up, or what I will be once I get there. But I do know that the changes I've started seeing, now that I'm looking, I like.
Will be an interesting journey.